The Customer is (almost) always right
(the chickens have nothing to do with this post.)Classic retail wisdom: never argue with the customer because they are always right.
Yes, so true, so true. Except for when they're dead wrong.
Customer: (looking around with great air of purpose) "I don't see those thingies you had last time."
Me: "I'm sorry, I'm not sure what thingies you're referring to."
Customer: (more than ever looking like a freak-child on a hunt for a pink bunny) "You know, those place mats you had that had a pocket in them."
Me: "That sounds like a great thing to carry, but I've never had those in my shop."
Customer: "Yes you did. I saw them."
Me: "Maybe you're confusing my shop with one of the other shops?"
Customer: "Nope, you had them. They were right over here." (Pointing to a vague spot over yonder.)
This is where the retail store owner agrees with the crazy totally right customer and pretends that they carried a product that they have never carried because this is what we are supposed to do. Humor the customer even when it is clear that they are freakin' on 'shrooms. But when have I ever played by the rules?
Me: "I know everything I've ever carried in my store and I know I've never had place mats with pockets in them. But if you can tell me where to find them, I would love to carry them."
Customer: (almost foaming at the mouth) "You're wrong."
The customer is basically telling me that it's me freakin' on 'shrooms, not her. What could I say at that point? "Hello! Lady! I do not take hallucinogens and also, I'm not that kind of crazy, but apparently you are." No. Because a customer like that could become dangerous. This one in particular. I'm already scared of her.
And, incidentally...should a customer be called a "customer" if she has never bought anything from you? It seems that "browser" or "potential customer" is more truthful. Calling a crazy person a "customer" who only ever comes in your store to scare you seems like a hopeful moniker at best.
Here's another thing, she'll probably turn out to be the Mayor's wife or something. Seriously, that's the kind of thing that's always happening to me.
Note: you're wondering why I haven't learned my lesson about repeating conversations on my blog. I will tell you that I have definitely learned my lesson. Essential details have been altered. But if for some reason the person with whom I enjoyed this surreal conversation happens to read this little post, all I can say is: if you are going to go around telling store owners that their memory sucks beyond belief, I say you should expect them to discuss this with other people.
Me: "I know everything I've ever carried in my store and I know I've never had place mats with pockets in them. But if you can tell me where to find them, I would love to carry them."
Customer: (almost foaming at the mouth) "You're wrong."
The customer is basically telling me that it's me freakin' on 'shrooms, not her. What could I say at that point? "Hello! Lady! I do not take hallucinogens and also, I'm not that kind of crazy, but apparently you are." No. Because a customer like that could become dangerous. This one in particular. I'm already scared of her.
And, incidentally...should a customer be called a "customer" if she has never bought anything from you? It seems that "browser" or "potential customer" is more truthful. Calling a crazy person a "customer" who only ever comes in your store to scare you seems like a hopeful moniker at best.
Here's another thing, she'll probably turn out to be the Mayor's wife or something. Seriously, that's the kind of thing that's always happening to me.
Note: you're wondering why I haven't learned my lesson about repeating conversations on my blog. I will tell you that I have definitely learned my lesson. Essential details have been altered. But if for some reason the person with whom I enjoyed this surreal conversation happens to read this little post, all I can say is: if you are going to go around telling store owners that their memory sucks beyond belief, I say you should expect them to discuss this with other people.
