Kale: shake it like a dog

(Eat Local Challenge- month 3)

Kale is not one of my favorite dark leafy greens. I know that all the cool cooks love it, but I would much rather cook with chard. It isn't the flavor, which is fine (I guess), but it never seems tender enough and generally I find it in its curly leaved incarnation which has one huge unattractive disadvantage: the curly leaves provide the perfect cover for aphids.

Which gentle washing cannot clean. Cleaning curly leaved kale is a colossal task if you don't like to eat aphids and prefer your produce untreated with the kind of gnarly chemicals that can shrivel human balls. It requires the following tools: a never ending gushing water supply, a microscope, nimble fingers, and a table top centrifuge. Just to get the plant lice off.

Or else you can wash it under fast running water and shake it like a dog over and over and over and over....

Since my centrifuge is in the shop I chose to shake my kale like a dog. I'm 99% sure that I was not able to get them all off. which means aphids are on the menu.

So why buy the kale? Good question. Being sick makes me crave green food, fresh produce, lots of vegetables. Being in the middle of the winter on month three of an eat local challenge means that produce is getting harder to come by. The fresh kind. The green kind. I can still get some produce from Oakhill Organics if I coordinate with their CSA deliveries, but if I just need something right now, from the local stores? Here's what I can get: potatoes, onions, kale, leeks, and mushrooms. Notice how only one of those items is green?

For several days now I have been craving a salad, or some soup with heaps of swiss chard in it, or steamed cauliflower and carrots over cous cous with vinaigrette and feta. For days now I have been craving fresh tangy fruit and thanks to Andrea from California who sent me a bag of kiwis, I actually have been eating the most wonderful fruit ever!!! I have three left and luckily no competition for them. I ate two for breakfast this morning and the body was very happy. I actually got my sense of taste back just as I bit into the first one. It was like green sunshine.

I just made a kale and leek quiche using a few tablespoons of the mustard powder I made for the tutorial. It's such a relief to not be eating potatoes with cheese. I love potatoes with cheese but that's all I've had the energy to make all week and I got really tired of it because being sick like this makes a body want more nutrients, less starch. Whenever I feel this run down I think about the scene at the end of "The Secret Of Roan Innish" where they're all back on the island in the little stone cottage and there's a kettle over the fire with soup in it. It's mostly seaweed, which I hate, but the scene is so visceral for me. It embodies all that is comfort and good and wholesome: shelter, family, warmth, and really really good soup. That's what a body needs when it's sick.

And boy oh boy is my body sick. It's in my chest now too so I've got a really nice cough developing.

I plan to keep up the local-produce-only portion of my challenge as a permanent change. In spite of how little there is available for part of the year. This is where the pantry, the freezer, and the protected winter garden come in handy. This year I find out what I need the most in my diet that won't be available during the winter and plan ahead to meet those needs. If I had had more energy for cooking this past week and a half I could have made all kinds of great meals using what I've put by, but most of those things require more energy to put together than I had. Much easier to throw a couple of russets in the oven and have baked potatoes. Or a grilled cheese sandwich.

The quiche was satisfying. A tiny bit bitter from the kale and a little bit horseradishy from the mustard powder which tasted like Dijon which always has an aftertaste like horseradish to me. Which I don't like. In spite of that it was quite good. I am simply not allowing myself to dwell on the aphid part of my meal. I think tomorrow I will be making a lentil kale soup.

I must report that there have been some shocking food transgressions around here which I absolutely blame on the various plagues that have been malingering in our house for the past two weeks.

1. At 1:30 am two nights ago I ate three handfuls of Cheetos.

2. Yesterday I ate Heinz ketchup on my country fried potatoes because I needed it. I really did. I needed the ketchup to cut the fatty richness of the cheese and sour cream I had put on the potatoes to make up for the fact that I wasn't going to use ketchup.

3. I made cornmeal that came from the Midwest because the stuff I had from Bob's Red Mill was too coarse and I really needed to have polenta. I have since bought a finer grind of it from Bob's Red Mill.

But don't worry, I'm not kicking myself too much over these transgressions. Life happens.

When Pasta Can Only Be Homemade

(very small Eat Local Challenge update)

(plus a whole lotta other business)

We love pasta like some people love beef. We don't love beef at all. Back in the days before we took on this food challenge thing (a whole two months ago) we ate pasta several times a week. It was the easy "go-to" option for a quick dinner- you just grab a package out of the pantry and either whip up a quick sauce or pop some out of a jar. Now, when I want pasta I have to make it from scratch. So when I think about how this challenge has changed the way we eat I have to say that pasta is something I have to think about ahead of time and therefore, is not on the menu nearly as often as it used to be.

However, this doesn't really bother me as much as I might have imagined. Making pasta is a semi spiritual experience and is also breathtakingly simple. It just takes planning. I have been craving it for the last week but have had no time to make any. I am a woman on the run. How any woman would willingly choose such a stressful jam packed life is a huge mystery to me. Lots of women don't have a choice and apparently I am going to be one of them, but millions of women out there could choose to slow down their lives if they wanted to. Millions of women could stay home and make better food than they can ever get out, take care of their home and enrich their spirit with endless homesteading activities and they can choose that whether they have children or not. They could choose it not to please some stupid man, but to please themselves.

I am a firm believer in all of us following the paths that suit us best. That is what I view as true feminism. So while I have a hard time imagining any woman actually wanting to go out and have a fast paced demanding and stressful career away from home, I actually do realize that for some women that is the ultimate in fulfilling their own potential. I suppose what seems unfair is that so many of the women who would (if they could) choose to stay home, can't because either they are the only breadwinner for themselves or their family, or because they're dirt poor, while there are many women out there who have plenty of money pouring in from their spouses and who could (if they wanted to) stay home but don't because that's not the lifestyle they want. Why do things endlessly arrange themselves in this unfair manner?

Incidentally, I mostly refer to women staying home because in my practical experience, most of the men I've known suck at being house husbands. This is not universally true though and a man can be a great stay at home Dad or house husband without being gay. However, these amazing men are in the minority and I'm willing to bet my house on the reality that the reason women have traditionally been the ones to stay home is because they ARE BETTER AT IT not because we have been the thousand year victims of male domination.

I can just imagine some woman in biblical times deciding to go be a carpenter like that interesting neighbor of hers with the unlikely name of Jesus, and discovering that her husband can make a fabulous flat bread, but not simultaneously with all the other household things he should also be doing like teaching the kids that cobras are not good play mates and scrubbing their three extra garments clean in the one stream in town where everyone washes everything. I imagine her coming to the conclusion that her man is not very capable of multitasking and life is just better when she's doing it all.

What I've observed is that men can be superb cooks, they can be extraordinarily good at gardening, which may explain why so many men go into these professions, but when it comes to having to manage their own time and juggle three or four activities at once, they really don't shine.

This working part time (for other people) thing is killing me. If I can't somehow find a way to stay home I will get very deeply entrenched in depression and I do believe that my nerves will knot themselves in an impressive mess. It's not the working that does me in. I would characterize myself as an extremely hard worker. It's being away from the center of my universe which is my home and garden that really messes me up. It's vacating the heart of my family and just visiting it on the run that is so unraveling to my mental health.

The ideal life would be to stay home, make homemade pasta frequently, make quilts, make my own bath products, and get paid to tell everyone else how to do it too. To get paid to write about the things I do for myself and my family that are fun and rewarding. To get paid to inspire others to explore their own potential to be more self sufficient. In truth, I would happily just do it for free, as I do now. I would just keep on going down this path but I would remove the financial strain and constant worry. I actually dreamed last night that Philip got a six digit paycheck. (Not going to happen, EVER). So, my only hope is to get paid to do what I already do.

Sometimes I feel like we're on the cusp of everything getting a little easier. As though the great unfolding of our lives is about to reveal a modest pocket of fortune in which I am not forced to give up my health insurance.

Working at the Holiday Market (which is a six week long craft fair being run like a retail shop so that vendors don't have to be in their booths all the time, or very often at all in most cases) is a mixed bag. They've done a really shiny job of making it look great and choosing really good quality products. The mixed bag of it all for me is that I am committed to spending so much time there that I have plenty of time to examine all the goods and I spend so much time at the cash register that I can tell who is doing a smashing good business and who is not. I, am not. So of course I have lots of opportunity to wonder (as usual) where I am going wrong.

So who's doing well? Bumblebee Hill Farm is a wonderful booth full of pretty soaps, mostly lavender wreaths and pretty potpourri arrangements, sweet sachets, some lovely ceramics, and pretty gift baskets. She's doing a brisk business and has to frequently restock. Lavender=money. She has the touch though, there's another mostly lavender company that isn't doing quite such a brisk business and I would say that it's because the packaging is too antiseptic. The soap prices are too high. And it isn't creating an imaginary world in which we are all seeing ourselves taking long baths in the afternoon and arranging bouquets throughout our homes...

Who else is doing well? The Free Trade booth run by a church. I don't personally care for what they have but what they have (ornaments, doo-dads, coffee, chocolate, and more doo-dads...) is stuff that everyone else loves and there is an endless stream of people going through their booth buying them out. This is a very religious community I live in and so it helps that the proceeds from this booth are for sending their church people on missions. (This is what I've heard, but I don't know this information first hand and it's possible it's incorrect)

Warren the honey man is doing very well. He has a huge selection of beautiful beeswax candles, bottles of local honey, and that's it. But the quality is great and his booth is very well supported by the community.

There are others doing quite well, but the main point is that I find it both inspiring and also deflating to be there first hand to see what sells and what doesn't and plenty of time to ask myself once again, what the hell am I doing trying to sell anything in the first place?! Mostly people in this community don't get me. I have sold all three of my "Vim and Vigor" DIY bath salt kits but none of my "Melancholia" or "Anxiety and Hysteria" ones. I think people don't get that it's meant to be kind of funny. I need (probably) to use words like "Uplifting", "Happy", "Relaxing", and "Luxurious"...you know, gentle words that float you on a dream.

Always I am jumping around the mouth of hell and wondering why people aren't flocking to get their piece of it. I should do some word changing and see what happens. I should do the "Melancholia" one with two separate labels. One with the original label and then one that says "Get Happy" and see which one sells, if either of them do. If I was to cater to the gentle dream I'd just be another company doing it. I'd probably still not do well with it. What would be different about me? I like the gentle dream too, I find myself wanting to hang around in the Bumblebee Hill Farm booth all day because it's so pretty. But I always want to bring something more to the world-the bite of truth with the dose of satire.

The other thing that happens to me there, a more positive result of spending time not cleaning my house or making my own pasta, is that I've had time and the opportunity to see a whole lot of things I'd like to try doing myself. Making rosemary wreaths, for example. Making my own soap. Making new accessories out of old broken vintage costume jewelry.

A special note for my sister Tara who has at times suggested that I make and sell my pickles and preserves professionally: I have been endlessly fascinated with the Zook family's booth full of homemade preserves and candies and have had a chance to chat with Loila, the main lady behind it all, and I've also had a chance to chat with the cookie lady...apparently it isn't that difficult to go into the food business here. Just thought I'd tell you. I hear your voice echoing in my head all the time.

In other news-the kid is recovered. After more than 14 hours of vomiting he was able to keep down two Popsicles, slept all night, and woke up perky and with an appetite. Truly a 24 hour stomach flu. There is always the chance that he could be sent home. But I am hopeful that he's mended. I think it was the two and a half hour nap we took together yesterday that really helped. Max and I are two people who don't nap. We don't go in for all the rest in the middle of the day crap. So when we do, our bodies are on a desperate recall mission. I have not really gotten queasy but I have not felt 100% for over a week now. Oh, well... since I started working actually. Interesting.

It is now time to get dressed and go to work and not get my laundry done.

Contagion

I got up at about 5:25 in the morning with Max who has been throwing up since then. Poor not so wee guy. It's been four years since the last time he got the stomach flu. I have to say that a seven year old makes much less mess vomiting than a three year old. I made him drink a little water which he promptly threw up. I have been reading about the stomach flu online and now know that the biggest danger is dehydration. I'd make him sip a little more water right now but he just fell asleep on the couch. I'm going to just hope that he'll feel better after a little rest.

When it comes to vomiting I am a huge wimp. I mean, a wimp about ME vomiting. I have the instinct to run for the hills whenever someone around me has hurled in an effort to be very far away from whatever made them sick. Is there an actual word for vomit-phobia? Because I have it. Most people hate it but I will go to some extreme lengths not to do it. Which you don't want to hear about.

I like to see the bright side of hell so I've always appreciated that bulimia nervosa is not going to ever be a problem for me. Whew! One medical situation I don't have to worry about for myself. (And for anyone ready to harp on me about taking this illness seriously-trust me, I am not joking. I do take it seriously and am seriously glad that I won't ever have it.) (I know that someone out there is ready to assure me that even with vomit-phobia I could end up having a problem with bulimia. If anyone has that in their head right now-all I can do is assure you that no power on earth will make me voluntarily hurl.)

You know what I really want to do? Clean my house. Nothing like contagion to make you want to clean. I have to work again today so I'd better get something done before I go. I can't bail on work so Philip has to bail on his for half a day.

I'm going to go clean some toilets. So what are you all up to today?