Scary Pickle

What the hell? Do you know what this is? It's pickled eggplant. It was simmered in vinegar and then preserved in oil. I have been storing it in my very cold dark garage pantry. Those little tumorous looking clumps are (I'm 99% certain) oil that has hardened. I have taken this slice out to warm up in my kitchen to see what happens. If these little tumoresque bits don't melt then I think I will not eat this pickle.

So many modern people are fearful when making pickled and canned goods at home. Unnecessarily fearful. Thousands of years of pickling compared to 100 years of government regulation just isn't enough to make me believe that the USDA knows everything. This is a traditional pickling recipe and there is no reason for it to not be safe. I am not going to trash the traditional recipes of the world because my government just isn't sure that people should have been doing it this way for the past two thousand years.

This brings me to the "Joy Of Pickling" one of the books I bought at Powells last week. I sat down last night with a cup of tea and read through most of the recipes and I am fascinated. Who wouldn't be when reading a recipe for "souse" a tart jelly made of the fleshy part of pigs feet or any other pork trimmings? Everyone has heard of pickled herring, but if that doesn't grab you, how about some pickled pig's ears? How many of us have eaten sour grapes?

I was raised as a vegetarian and after trying almost every kind of fish and quite a few kinds of other various fleshy delicacies at different times in my life in an attempt to acquire a taste for meat and fish, I have officially given up the ghost. Eating flesh, to me, is an exercise in repulsion. I don't care if you eat it. Just don't cherish a hope in your heart that if I ate YOUR meatloaf I will change my mind about meat.

It aint gonna happen. Not just because my body has rejected all meat in every way, but because I don't feel I'm missing anything. I used to try to eat meat so I could fit in with the world. Being a vegetarian kid in 1979 wasn't the common experience it is today. My mom had to bring food for me to summer camp when I was a kid and instruct the cooks on what to feed me instead of hot dogs. The world has finally caught up and it's not so hard not eating meat anymore. Now a lot of people are trying to eat less of it themselves.

The truth is, I am uncomfortable eating the flesh of another animal. I don't think it's wrong to do it, I know that it's the natural food chain at work, it just makes me uncomfortable. So I'm happy being a vegetarian all around.

The reason why I mention all of this in relation to pickling is that there is a classic food pairing that I am missing out on by being a vegetarian. Cold cuts + pickled fruit, for example. Reading my new pickling book I see again and again how meats and pickled fruits, or chutneys, or jellies have been paired together harmoniously for centuries. And it sounds good! So I am asking myself what kind of vegetarian meal would pair well with a pickled shallot? Or sour pickled grapes?

Cheese is the obvious answer. Cheese and bread. The ploughman's lunch without the cold cuts. Also, a real mezze spread would be a perfect opportunity to lay out small bowls of pickled delights such as eggplant, mushrooms, and turnips to be eaten on fresh pita* that has been dipped in lebneh or spread with hummus.

On a side note: see that jar of yellow stuff? That is a pickle I am not planning on eating. I am very worried about it. That's the version of piccalilli that I made from the Ball Blue Book Of Canning that smelled like flour when I was done. Not in a nice way. Raw flour is not kind on bellies and that's what it smells like. But sometimes we have to try making things even if they might not turn out so that we can find new favorites. (I hear all my friends laughing in the background...me who eats news things cautiously and infrequently...ha ha ha)**

I heated up my eggplant and the tumoresque bits melted away. It was just solidified oil. I am planning on making pita pizzas today with red sauce, pickled eggplant, and cheese. Yum.

If any of you are planning on getting any food preserving books, now is the time to get them. By the time summer rolls around the bookstore shelves will be very spare of preserving books as will the library shelves. I know this from experience. This is why I bought several titles that I've been wanting for a long time in the middle of winter when there is very little preserving to be done.

So what's the scariest pickle you've ever eaten? What was the best?

*Yes, the pita must be fresh. Do not buy pita from the store. Make pita. Store bought pita is dry and stupid. Fresh pita is fragrant, tender, and perfect for spreading with anything you fancy. The two do not even exist in the same universe so learn to make your own. IT IS SO EASY!!!!!

**I would like to take a moment to address this myth about Angelina's reluctance to try new things. I actually do try new things quite a lot. I admit I try new things with a certain amount of trepidation, but I try them anyway. New things tried in the last six months: beet pickles, jardiniere, tomatillo salsa, peach salsa, pear and ginger jam, pepper jelly, collards, beet greens, bread and butter pickles, yogurt cheese, sheep/cow blend cheese, raw milk cheese, Jerusalem artichokes, quince marmalade, dried sweet cherries, homemade mustard, and today: pickled eggplant. I didn't like all of the things I tried, but many of these things have been added to my cache of favored recipes.

Pickled Eggplant
(aka: Rebel Food)

These jars of pickled eggplant just may be the prettiest items in my pantry. You should know right off the bat that this recipe is by a British author named Nora Carey from her book called "Perfect Preserves". I love this book. I love Nora. I think she'd be startled to know that. There are interesting preserves, the most inspiring kitchen garden pictures, and recipes that call for the preserves in the book so that you know what the hell to do with them once you've made them all. It is my favorite preserving book. However, the methods used in it are distinctly British in that jams are not zapped into flavorless anonymity by over-processing. In fact, most jams aren't processed at all.

It's not just distinctly British to stick to traditional methods of canning and preserving, it's very European to not ditch Grandma's pickled eggplant because a government agency is worried about lawsuits. What I'm trying to tell you is that this recipe for pickled eggplant is

UNSANCTIONED BY THE USDA.

I made it anyway. The USDA is extremely skittish about preserving anything in olive oil. For the last few years the stance was "YOU WILL DIE IF YOU PRESERVE ANYTHING IN OLIVE OIL" They are now slightly backing down from that rather dire stance. Now they are allowing that maybe, maybe it's not so dangerous to store sun dried tomatoes in olive oil at room temperature provided there aren't any fresh herbs in it.

I have done a lot of reading about the reasons for different canning methods, about the science that backs up our belief that it isn't safe to preserve eggplant. I've read the USDA book of canning, I've called the canning hot-lines, and I've listened to some very heated discourse on the subject on a canning forum. It isn't easy to get at the science of it all because only the food scientists really know and they don't think us lay people can use that information safely. I think that's a form of oppression. Personally, I think that our fear of food-borne illness is threatening our rich and diverse catalog of family canning and preserving traditions.

Do I want to die of botulism? Of course not. However, I will use my brain in this matter, not a government agency, to make my own decisions. I have found at least three recipes for pickled eggplant, all of them calling for some form of vinegaring and spicing and then storing at room temperature in olive oil. All of those recipes were either European or Middle Eastern. These are traditional recipes. Here's something I've never heard about: lots of European and Middle Eastern home canners dying of botulism. Oh wait, I haven't heard of many American home canners dying of botulism either.

I am tired of food paranoia. This recipe seems pretty safe to me. First you cut the eggplant in 1/2" slices, toss them in a bowl with a lot of course sea salt (I think "tossing" is not really a good word here. Half inch slices of eggplant don't really "toss" easily.), and then layer them on either paper towels or kitchen towels and weight them with something heavy. I used a big wooden cutting board held down by a 24 lb box of apples. You let them sweat for at least an hour.

After that you brush them off and cook them for 5 minutes in white vinegar. What happens is that the vinegar then replaces any moisture in the slices making them less susceptible to rot or botulism, which doesn't happen to like vinegar. You pat them dry and then after letting them cool down you layer them in sterilized jars that you put a half inch of olive oil in before filling, and once your eggplant has reached the top, you cover completely with more olive oil and add a teaspoon of corriander seeds.

When you're processing anything in a boiling water bath canner for at least ten minutes it's not actually necessary to pre-sterilize your jars. The processing will kill off anything that might be on them or in them. For this recipe, however, it's vital to sterilize the jars for ten minutes in boiling water because they won't be processed further.

This is my one slice of eggplant that didn't make the cut. When the vinegar saturates the slices they turn slightly translucent. This piece was too thick for the vinegar to penetrate. So I tossed it out. It's beautiful though, isn't it?

I do take other people's safety in my kitchen pretty seriously and I don't plan to feed these to anyone without making them sign a waiver to sue me if anything happens. Because I'm American and that's the kind of thing we do. Jesus.

Max has just informed me that these jars look like cans of throw up and poop.

I really want to make some more of these. I'm afraid that the coriander seeds I bought are very old and not all that aromatic. One of the recipes that Nora includes for using these pickled eggplants is to put the slices on a home made pizza. Oh boy, that sounds so good. I'm excited by the combination of the earthiness of eggplant with the added zing of vinegar, and the richness of the oil. Not a diet food, of course. Nicole Montesano, a food writer for our local newspaper and another canning spaz like me (it must be said that like Lisa E., she is elegantly quiet in her spazziness), gave me a recipe she found for pickled eggplant that I may need to try as well. Now I'm not sure where I've put it, but while the eggplant is cheap at my favorite farm (Bernards), it seems a shame not to make some more.

On a side note, I left some tomatoes in a bucket for much too long and missed the fact that two of them were rotting and hatching a cloud of fruit flies. Fruit flies are a fixture in my kitchen during canning season. An unpleasant fact of life. It's what happens when large quantities of fruits continuously make their juicy way through my house. However, usually there's just a few and aren't much of a nuisance. Oy. I have about a hundred of them in my kitchen. So if anyone knows of any great traps for them, let me know. I have put out some fly paper, and while it's caught some of the slower more stupid ones, the others seem to know what it is and are not getting fooled. I still have a ton of fruit to process so it's not like I can just rid my kitchen of all fruit fly food right now.

So, in closing, I would like to say that if for some unfortunate reason my brave rebellion of the USDA's oppression turns sour on me and I die of botulism from eating my beautiful eggplants, this is what I want on my tombstone:

"Although she ordered the exact same meal at the Hotel Oregon EVERY SINGLE TIME SHE WENT, she was brave enough to eat pickled eggplant. Let it be duly noted: Angelina was not a total food coward"

Maybe that's too expensive. That's a lot of words and we don't have a lot of money. Maybe the community can collect some donations?

Fruit fly update: Between using Karmyn's method and standing patiently like a zen master in order to strike like lightening and kill them with the smack of bare hands I have reduced the fruit fly population almost to nothing. I've still got about five of them that I can't seem to get at. But five, I think you'll all agree, is so much less disturbing than over 100 of them.

The Last Ten Days In Pictures

(Plus: lyrics to live by)

One of my old friends in the Portland Rose Garden "Frederick Mistral". His scent is a heady old rose scent, his leaves are healthy and relatively disease free, his growth is prolific. He likes to get very tall. He is generous with his blooms all season. I will be planting one of this rose in my new garden and if you're looking for a great rose with rich scent, I highly recommend this one.

The rose garden is so sprawling, so large, it is difficult to capture it's scope with a camera, at least a camera like mine. I didn't see the whole thing on our visit. I'm hoping to go once more this season which must be about to end.

Now I'm not positive (because a couple of days have passed already) but I think this is a rose called "Karen Blixen" that I've never grown. She doesn't have a stunning scent, but the blooms are really elegant and arching (weak necks) which is not ideal if you like erect stems, but when arranging bouquets in old teapots, which I like to do, arching stems make for a better arrangement.

My mom giving the ol' sniff test. Like most of them, this one failed. So sad. So unnecessary. It's time that all rose breeding programs included a direction in scent. There are enough mild and scentless roses to please those who prefer them (or who are allergic to strong scent). I love that David Austin makes that a priority, though what he likes about the "musk" scents he sometimes comes up with is a huge mystery to me. But his rose "Abraham Darby" is brilliant with it's rich warm rose scent and it's prolific growth and gorgeous form. Sorry, I'm getting carried away aren't I?

Lots of eggplant fun in the past week. Not everything I made turned out as good as could be hoped. These did though. Simple round slices of eggplant grilled to perfection on the BBQ after being brushed with a rosemary marinade.

These stuffed round eggplants turned out pretty good, the stuffing which consisted of the insides of the eggplant sauteed with sliced stale bread, dried thyme, fresh tomatoes, onion, butter, olive oil, and lemon zest turned out superb...but the stuffing was so good that we kind of didn't enjoy eating the plain eggplant it was stuffed into. So as pretty as these are, I am going to do this again as an eggplant casserole or as a stuffing for something else such as big zucchinis or tomatoes.

The commissioned project I did to cover my friend Sylla's chair cushions. This is the before picture. I don't blame her for wanting to have them covered.

Especially in this wonderful bark cloth!! This was a very satisfying project. I did have to redo one of the zippers which sucked, but that's the way it goes. Better to redo it and preserve my professional reputation than to let anyone think I do shoddy work.

She was pleased with the results too which is the most important thing.

And lastly, this was a superfine summer meal we had. Freshly picked corn on the cob with a nine dollar sandwich made with bread from our local bakery "Red Fox Bakery", and grilled eggplant, pesto, tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese. Oh my. So good. It's making me hungry right now.

It's such a relief to have pictures again. The main computer is still not fixed. The motherboard was fried and can't be easily fixed because it's a Dell and they have all kinds of proprietary issues. We've been debating how to proceed. We could have another computer built more cheaply, to replace this one, but we are leaning towards fixing what we have because this is a chance to not throw something away. Something I want to be more careful about in my life. It's so tempting to just start over with a computer, it can be cheaper, but overall, if we can just fix up what we have and throw away only 25% of it (the motherboard and the case for the hard drive both must be replaced apparently) then we're keeping more out of the landfill.

Anyway, Philip installed my camera software onto the laptop and now I can move on. I can update my Etsy shop, and just as soon as I recall what my password is for my flickr account I can update that too. It's such a relief. I know, I already said that.

IT'S SUCH A RELIEF!

So I folded six loads of laundry, even though I only washed four yesterday. That's because I had to fold the loads that had been sitting around collecting dust for days before even starting. All I got through were my back log of sheets and towels. I have a lot of raggy towels I use for canning and drying the dog and other fun things like that. The hamper was full of them. Every sheet and comforter cover and towel in the house was in the hamper. So I have a whole extra day of laundry doing to do if I want to be completely caught up. Here's the thing: we have only a family of three and I can never keep up with my own laundry, how the hell do you larger families face such gargantuan piles of it? I know that I am a weak-ass when it comes to laundry so I'm hardly a person whose laundry skills you want to compare yourself to. Laundry has always been my downfall and I'm mostly alright with that.

It doesn't mean I don't keep trying though. I'm an excellent housewife in most ways, but we all have to have our dark areas, right? Except for you perfect people out there. Don't talk to me.

I had a nightmare last night. It was not one of the worst, thank goodness. I don't remember much of it except that there was a very bad man who must have had some keen evil powers because he was monitoring myself and two other women through a television we couldn't turn off. One of the women was pregnant and eating something spinachy. But then we were all three eating something spinachy. Then the bad man was in the room with us and I was hiding. That's all I remember. Spinach-baby-badman. Aren't nightmares fascinating?

Oh wait, and I costumed a bunch of people for some strange event but my old costuming partner Autumn was there and was scoffing at me and my work and it was all very stressful since I apparently have quite the inferiority complex. It was all somehow connected with my mom living in an apartment in the city.

My knee hurts today which is annoying. It's always got to be something, doesn't it? I can't decide if it would be wise to skip the gym today or not. I don't want to hurt my knee more but I need to not lose any momentum with the gym thing. I feel like I should not strain it today, that's what my gut says. At least my burn is scabbed up and healing well. (I hope you're not eating your breakfast right now.)

On the agenda: laundry, pesto making for the freezer, and salsa canning. Which means a trip out to my favorite farm. Which means locating the back road so I can avoid taking Highway 18 on my scooter except for about a quarter mile.

Do you ever think about all the ghosts that walk the highways? I was just suddenly remembering the old lady who died in a violent crash on that same stretch of highway last week. We were on the highway not long after the crash happened and had to take a detour to the farm because of it. Lisa E. and I were both pretty sure we saw fire on the road just before turning off. On our way back we saw the white car that was wrecked in the ditch, smashed like an insignificant pumpkin. What's amazing is that the old man who was driving it lived. But what an awful day. And to make it so far in life with a person, to be old together and then lose one of the pair in such a violent way. I can't help but wonder if the old man hasn't died now too? It's not uncommon for old folks to follow loved ones into the grave not long after being left solo.

It happened to Johnny Cash. When we heard that June had died, Philip and I both said we wouldn't be surprised if he followed her in the near future. Not three months later and he was dead too.

I don't know that I believe in ghosts, in a haunting kind of way. I guess I kind of do. Or at least I believe that spirits linger. Or at least leave some imprint or memory of themselves behind. I've felt them before. Maybe they were actually the spirits themselves, but I tend to think that what I have felt is the residue of their existence. Like a three dimensional photo. Sometimes I get the shivers walking through such imprints. I was just thinking about how many lives are lost on American freeways every single day. It's a phenomenal number. It's eerie to see how many crosses are set up to remember them on the sides of the road. I used to be haunted by those, especially because one of the first ones I saw was to commemorate a girl who went missing (last seen at that spot on the freeway that is marked in Rio Grand California) and (I think) later turned up dead.

So I wonder, if you were to clear all the cars from a stretch of freeway and achieve total silence, could you hear the spirits there? Would they be weeping? Screaming? Sometimes, (and this is one of those instances where it would be totally appropriate to remember that I am a freak), I feel like it's one of my main jobs in life to remember the dead. To speak for the voiceless. I see dead animals on the road, or crosses commemorating human life cut off, and I find myself speaking to them in a kind of mental undertone. Making a note that here was life. Here was the end of something beautiful. Remembered. It can be overwhelming though when in my head I start taking count of all the dead in the world. I write them letters. I send them notes.

My head is like a mailbox for the dead.

I haven't really said these things out loud before. Not in detail. You can totally understand how come one of my most frequent fantasies is to take a ten year vow of complete silence? Anyone who knows me knows that this would be absolutely IMPOSSIBLE. Which is perhaps why it is a particularly compelling fantasy. Isn't it always what is most unreachable that we reach for in our dream world? The flat chested poor girl wants triple D breasts, right? The nerdy guy who can't speak to girls wants to be the next James Bond, am I wrong?

This all reminds me of the music I was listening to while cleaning yesterday. My play list started with "The Buena Vista Social Club" soundtrack, then I listened to "Ziggy Stardust", and finished the event off with Roy Acuff singing one of my favorite all time songs "The Wreck On The Highway" which is all about whiskey and blood running together. It's also religious. Even though I am not religious, I love a lot of religious music. Mahalia Jackson is a favorite, as are the old classical pieces written for the church or in celebration of Jesus like Handel's "Messiah". Another of my favorite songs is "Were You There" by Johnny Cash which is all about being nailed to the cross and being shoved into a cave to die, you know how Jesus was entombed and then rose and all that jazzy jazz? These are very violent songs.

On a side note, I have been a huge Bowie fan since I was 13 years old when my mom insisted that I would love this guy. She bought his latest album "Modern Dance" on a trip we had made to Mill Valley and we listened to it all the way back up to Ashland Oregon where we were living at the time. She told me when he would be appearing on MTV, which was relatively new at the time, and made sure I was up to see it. I totally fell for him and his music was the main soundtrack to my life for years. As I was listening to him yesterday I was amazed at just how many of his lyrics are completely loony. Yet I totally get them as do so many people. He evokes a feeling, he communicates something with drug addled words that somehow makes sense. How does he do that?

"You're squawking like a pink monkey bird" can only come from either a crazy person, or a crazy person on drugs. We know the answer to that one by now. It kept making me laugh, hearing these lyrics that I took so seriously when I was younger. His was a voice that spoke my language. Yet, I had never been exposed to, and would be surprised at being exposed to a pink monkey bird even now. I'm going to look that up...

Yeah, I think Bowie made that one up.

I will leave you with this sage piece of advice gleaned from the Ziggy Stardust album:

"Don't let the milk float ride your mind."

That's what I always say.

Ricotta stuffed eggplant

This is what this dish looks like when I'm trying to impress you with my healthy restraint.

This is what happens when I put the camera down and think you're not looking. My dusting of Parmesan turns into a snow peak of cheesy goodness because I don't believe there's such a thing as "too much".

Ricotta stuffed eggplant

This is my own recipe which I want to share with those rare souls out there who are always looking for new ways to eat eggplant. I wasn't born loving this relative of bella donna, for me it was a taste acquired in my twenties when my mom wasn't looking. This dish can be made lower in fat than I have here by substituting the regular ricotta with low or nonfat. You can also omit the egg and not use any Parmesan at all. Though you should know that I will secretly write you off as a cretin.

Conversely, you can make it much richer than I've made it here by adding grated jack or mozzarella cheese to the ricotta, or topping the dish with it and letting it get crusty golden. I am trying to learn to love food that doesn't have melted cheese in it though, so my version is what I'm going to record here for you.

Ingredients:
1 large globe type eggplant
1/4 cup olive oil
1 1/2 cups marinara sauce
1 small container ricotta cheese (fresh if you can get it!)
1 large egg
1/8 tsp grated nutmeg
salt
pepper


Fire up your grill or your broiler. If grilling, be sure the flames are on a moderate heat or you will burn your eggplant. Cut the eggplant in rounds about 3/8" thick and brush generously with the olive oil on both sides, then dust them with salt and pepper. Cook each side of eggplant rounds until just browned and getting soft, generally I find five minutes on each side generally does the trick. If they have turned to mush you had better make some baba ganoush instead. When the eggplant is done set it aside to cool off.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

In a medium sized bowl dump out the container of ricotta. Add the egg, the nutmeg, and salt and pepper to taste. (I usually use about 1/8 tsp pepper and 1/2 tsp salt). The nutmeg may seem strange, and if you hate nutmeg just omit it. I learned to put nutmeg in ricotta from my mother who is not one iota Italian but who lived in Rome for two years as a kid and learned to add nutmeg to ricotta from the Italians themselves. I love it this way. You can add up to 1/4 of a tsp nutmeg, but any more than that and it will overpower the whole dish. Mix up the ricotta really well.

Pour about 3/4 cup of marinara sauce in the bottom of a baking dish. Take a round of eggplant and in the center of it put about 1 tbsp of ricotta, fold the eggplant ends together to form a roll and place it in the dish. Continue to do this until all your eggplant rounds are used up. You may find the smaller rounds more challenging to roll, instead you can sandwich ricotta between two rounds and place that in the baking dish. The result will ultimately be the same.

When the pan is filled up, add the rest of the marinara to the top of the dish. Cover and bake in the oven for 30 minutes.

Dump Dust a portion with Parmesan and enjoy!

You know what would be cool? If one of you actually tried to follow this recipe and then tell me how it worked out. Isn't it funny that Diane (in yesterday's comments) was just telling me about lasagna made with eggplant layers instead of noodles? Because I also made that yesterday! Ha, great minds and all other cliches that apply!