Scary Pickle

What the hell? Do you know what this is? It's pickled eggplant. It was simmered in vinegar and then preserved in oil. I have been storing it in my very cold dark garage pantry. Those little tumorous looking clumps are (I'm 99% certain) oil that has hardened. I have taken this slice out to warm up in my kitchen to see what happens. If these little tumoresque bits don't melt then I think I will not eat this pickle.

So many modern people are fearful when making pickled and canned goods at home. Unnecessarily fearful. Thousands of years of pickling compared to 100 years of government regulation just isn't enough to make me believe that the USDA knows everything. This is a traditional pickling recipe and there is no reason for it to not be safe. I am not going to trash the traditional recipes of the world because my government just isn't sure that people should have been doing it this way for the past two thousand years.

This brings me to the "Joy Of Pickling" one of the books I bought at Powells last week. I sat down last night with a cup of tea and read through most of the recipes and I am fascinated. Who wouldn't be when reading a recipe for "souse" a tart jelly made of the fleshy part of pigs feet or any other pork trimmings? Everyone has heard of pickled herring, but if that doesn't grab you, how about some pickled pig's ears? How many of us have eaten sour grapes?

I was raised as a vegetarian and after trying almost every kind of fish and quite a few kinds of other various fleshy delicacies at different times in my life in an attempt to acquire a taste for meat and fish, I have officially given up the ghost. Eating flesh, to me, is an exercise in repulsion. I don't care if you eat it. Just don't cherish a hope in your heart that if I ate YOUR meatloaf I will change my mind about meat.

It aint gonna happen. Not just because my body has rejected all meat in every way, but because I don't feel I'm missing anything. I used to try to eat meat so I could fit in with the world. Being a vegetarian kid in 1979 wasn't the common experience it is today. My mom had to bring food for me to summer camp when I was a kid and instruct the cooks on what to feed me instead of hot dogs. The world has finally caught up and it's not so hard not eating meat anymore. Now a lot of people are trying to eat less of it themselves.

The truth is, I am uncomfortable eating the flesh of another animal. I don't think it's wrong to do it, I know that it's the natural food chain at work, it just makes me uncomfortable. So I'm happy being a vegetarian all around.

The reason why I mention all of this in relation to pickling is that there is a classic food pairing that I am missing out on by being a vegetarian. Cold cuts + pickled fruit, for example. Reading my new pickling book I see again and again how meats and pickled fruits, or chutneys, or jellies have been paired together harmoniously for centuries. And it sounds good! So I am asking myself what kind of vegetarian meal would pair well with a pickled shallot? Or sour pickled grapes?

Cheese is the obvious answer. Cheese and bread. The ploughman's lunch without the cold cuts. Also, a real mezze spread would be a perfect opportunity to lay out small bowls of pickled delights such as eggplant, mushrooms, and turnips to be eaten on fresh pita* that has been dipped in lebneh or spread with hummus.

On a side note: see that jar of yellow stuff? That is a pickle I am not planning on eating. I am very worried about it. That's the version of piccalilli that I made from the Ball Blue Book Of Canning that smelled like flour when I was done. Not in a nice way. Raw flour is not kind on bellies and that's what it smells like. But sometimes we have to try making things even if they might not turn out so that we can find new favorites. (I hear all my friends laughing in the background...me who eats news things cautiously and infrequently...ha ha ha)**

I heated up my eggplant and the tumoresque bits melted away. It was just solidified oil. I am planning on making pita pizzas today with red sauce, pickled eggplant, and cheese. Yum.

If any of you are planning on getting any food preserving books, now is the time to get them. By the time summer rolls around the bookstore shelves will be very spare of preserving books as will the library shelves. I know this from experience. This is why I bought several titles that I've been wanting for a long time in the middle of winter when there is very little preserving to be done.

So what's the scariest pickle you've ever eaten? What was the best?

*Yes, the pita must be fresh. Do not buy pita from the store. Make pita. Store bought pita is dry and stupid. Fresh pita is fragrant, tender, and perfect for spreading with anything you fancy. The two do not even exist in the same universe so learn to make your own. IT IS SO EASY!!!!!

**I would like to take a moment to address this myth about Angelina's reluctance to try new things. I actually do try new things quite a lot. I admit I try new things with a certain amount of trepidation, but I try them anyway. New things tried in the last six months: beet pickles, jardiniere, tomatillo salsa, peach salsa, pear and ginger jam, pepper jelly, collards, beet greens, bread and butter pickles, yogurt cheese, sheep/cow blend cheese, raw milk cheese, Jerusalem artichokes, quince marmalade, dried sweet cherries, homemade mustard, and today: pickled eggplant. I didn't like all of the things I tried, but many of these things have been added to my cache of favored recipes.

Yogurt Cheese Report

Arty picture of cheese bowl to disguise the fact that my old camera takes crappy pictures and I dropped my new one on the floor and broke it. I'm still waiting to hear from the company if it's fixable, how much of my vast fortune it will take to mend it, and how long I will be forced to take terrible photos.

The yogurt cheese (lebneh, I'm learning to call it), turned out to be extremely successful. The question I have is how come anyone bothers with cream cheese at all when you can eat this cheese which is healthier all around? I didn't let mine get super stiff because when I open hunks of cream cheese I usually spend some time trying to whip the arthritis out of it so I can spread it on something instead of tearing up my food.

The lebneh is tangy and smooth. I spread it on a piece of wheat toast and topped it with jalapeno pepper jelly.

I would like to sit here and chat all morning but I have to go get ready for my first all day Master Gardening class. This will be a challenging day because we got almost no sleep last night between our dying cat, the alert dog, the light sleeping kid who is scared of sleeping without the kitty and who didn't go to sleep again between the hours of 2 am and 4:10 am. I look like I got hit by a semi truck. All this after a very rough day yesterday. It has come to my attention that I should have gotten my psychiatrist appointment before starting therapy. All the therapy did was make me feel worse.

So I hope you all make some yogurt cheese and have a really great Thursday!